61,000 Pneumonia Deaths Last Year...

fight Terror with Fear
all panic on my signal...
Threat Level: BACON

Womb With A View

cummerbund tan lines
hip-huggers just aren't for you
day-old muffin top

Never Cry Woof

A case of 'Wolf Arm'
Why am I cudddling her?
Gnaw, gnaw, gnaw, gnaw, hey!

Linguistic WTF, Biznatch?

Syntax exemption
"Grammerically" incorrect
What the fo'shizzle?

Hot for Pus-y

Then the music swells
But that's not the only thing
Don't be so callus

Who Let the Gods Out?

A new religion?
Keep your dogma off my lawn:
Karma is a bitch.

Get A Grip

Girls love musicians
Dust collecting instrument
Music to your rears

Hamdemic

The Swine Flu haiku
Leave delicious pigs alone
We're the Semites right?

Lem-ent

Touch me, touch me now
Samantha Fox museum
Give me Mötorhead

Good Luck With Your Student Loan Application!

Welcome To Gabby's

Centre For The Drunken Arts

Hangover major

Would You Like Lies On The Side?

Ashley Madison
Hey! Are you a cheating fuck?
Hope you knock her up

(W)insurance!

Cornea transplant
Covered by my HMO
Get out of braille free

Bump And Blind

Dear Penthouse Forum,
Reading dirty books by touch:
It's the Holy Braille

T-dot. Canada's G-spot.

You think you're so great.
Why hate, rest of Canada?
...maybe 'cause you suck.

North American Firearms Trade Agreement

Americanized,

but fewer guns than Detroit.

Small consolation

Regime Change In Leaf Nation

Three bills for a game

plus rabidly loyal fans.

Still the Leafs can't win

The Line To Nowhere

Thank you, Mel Lastman

Who uses the Sheppard line?

Answer: Nooooooooo-body!

R.I.P.: Driftwood Music

What happened, Queen West?

Reverse gentrification

now brand-name ghetto

See-Food

How do eyeballs taste?

I can't see how this is good.

Cue the blind taste test

Goat

if it runs, chase it

if it hides, discover it

if it bleats, shave it

Cocks In Frocks

who makes Jesus rise...

Catholics or Protestants?

nun of the above

Haikutties

Disease of the mind

What makes this so addictive?

More research needed

Self-Touch Sensitive

iPhonesturbation

Your fingers make it bigger

It's user-friendly!

Meatcandy

Aborted from your

emotional uterus.

Placenta lovechild

Like Fucking A Rubber Sock

perspicacity

paralysing polymers

syncopal sorrow

Brass Slaps

Jazz hand weaponry
Strikes unsuspecting Beechwill
Please stop my crazy

MyKill

Hello, my name is
Christie Crayons; wax you off
You Bowles me. Over.

Crayons' Box...of Tricks

Her haiku secret:
Academia or beer?
Twenty years of both.

RAID On Bungeling Bay

controller BIOS

delivers the epitaph:

"Array Not Defined"

Dude, I Totally Wrecked That...

a few screws loose now

...been into this box so much

it's no longer square

BraStraps

I'm in the cal"zone"

What colour is sauce and cheese?

Delicious rainbow.

Unschooling Eric

Merri the Terri

Fishing in the pool of Fail

De-Breeder die die.

(In)tuition

Art skool graduate

What will I do with my life?

Filmore's here I cum!

307 Carp

Can't come into work

Katamari damachi

Rolling that shit up.

Urinary Classifieds

Men's room urinal

The insecure graffiti

Blow him already.

True Romance

Babe, are we this tight?

Charlie Horse or Donkey Punch?

Which one would you like?

Cuntractors

Jungle Genevieve

She's swinging on lust's law bars

Renée-vate my heart.

Tax That Donkey

Three-ring cervixes

Romans roaming for fun times

Boobs and circuses

Baby Phat

Dalton McGuinty:

'Childhood obesity is

a growing problem'

In The Technical Dept., We're Not Happy Until You're Not Happy!

> Can you help me out?"

> "Sure! Which way did you come in?"

> "I'll see myself out..."

Dee Dee King

53rd & 3rd
you're trying to get a fix
you make me feel sick

CAAAAAAR!!!!!

Suburban fuck-up
Cul-de-sac of intellect
Playing sheep-hockey

Psalm 23 1/2

and though I've walked through
shadows of valleys of breasts...
I felt no evil

You Might Think I'm Delirious, The Way I Run You Down

Run over by Cars
I murdered you in my brain
Uh-oh, it's magic

How Big Is Wow?

what is the appeal

for young Latino gay men?

...Morrissey is huge!