Engine Earring

you've reached the tech shop,

glans to be at your cervix!

please leave a massage...

Troubleshot

alone in the dark

idea bulb won't turn on

your lamp is unplugged

It's Not How You Feel, It's How You Look

full-frontal cortex

disfigurement of the mind

Plastic Makes Perfect

Lord Kitchener's Wrath

No longer metal.
New theme to Armageddon?
Apo-calypso

$3.00 / litre

water factory

melting ice with blowtorches

robots building bricks

The Dimly-lit Space

Fourth dementia

Serling begat Fox Mulder

I want to bereave

Newtonian Gangbang

Fitness of physics

Dimensions of achievement

Spatial Olympics

Time To Trim The Tabescent Tedium

tight taximetrics

tacking '-tastic' to tired terms

tachyphylaxis

Flesh Vortex

gynecology 

induces tunnel vision

it's spectaculum!

Payroll Failure

owner's flight delayed

no one here to sign the cheques

petty cash bar tab

Intervention

Playing my word games.
Some antics or semantics?
Just shut the fuck up.

Just Use chkdsk & Be Done With It

>chkntfs_

show us all your dirty bits

nothing to see here

Buttered Side Falls Face Down

Fuck up, and you're toast
Small margarine of error
What's the spread on that?

Dow Chemical Company / (7)+(?)

Bromine ZipLoc cult

do you know the difference?

paper or plastic?

Bulletproof Vestibule

shot in the lobby

reconstructive surgery

replace the window

Oyster Shucking Redux

spent shells everywhere

Drew Barrymore's hunting pearls

Tom Green bedroom games

Tao Te Schwing

Haiku's stately grace
Celebrating nature's works
By "works", I mean boobs

Seafood Love Song

the world disappears

when you're shucking my oyster

your hook in my mouth

Raising The Interest Rate

In a sea of beer,

a rising tide floats all boobs

It's Meaghanomics

The Long, Frozen Arm of Gil Hamilton

androgynous zones

inevitiability 

for you corpsicles

12 Step Program

3 of the best pairs

6 of my favourite boobs

Nein! You can't escape!!

The Impossible Duality Of Sigmund's Favourite Cereal

Id wants girls & booze

Super-ego wants to leave

frosted mini wheat

Whose Fail Is It Anyway?

The aristocrats

Your 'fail' betters us all

Stay gold, Pony(tail)boy

Two, Please.

female bartenders

make every beer taste better

put those jugs on me...

I See Your Lose And Raise You A Fail

Pee flies circling

like mullets at a barber.

Time to shear that shit.

Baseball Is Gay

grasp your wooden stick

and aim it for the sweet spot

slam it into balls

Harlequin Meets Hustler

Keep the chicks working

Have to keep earning my love

Why aren't you topless?

Power-Glide Suicide

cross the yellow line

terminal velocity

counterproductive

Radio

pulling the cat's tail

communicates your message

but there is no cat

Sorry Honey, I Missed Your Call

can Dick stay for beer?

things are beyond his control...

cell phone battery

Natasha's Lament

First time in person
Edmund, Amos, Joss and Dick
That's one ugly blog

That's A Squishin'

Fourteenth trimester
Your post-natal abortion:
Jaywalking with kids

Paradise Fails

can't come to the phone

I'm balls deep in a manhole

at least I get paid

Satan's Prison Of Fire (Aquaman's Prison Of Water)

Mock not the prophet
Welcome to Armageddon
T-shirts on your left

Don't Drink The Water

life of the coxswain

autoeroticism

stroke. stroke. stroke. stroke. stroke...

Fried Day

There's so much to do
but those Thursdays are killer
Wishing my work done

Vertical Bits

not enough free space
overflowing bit bucket
need more bigabytes

Who's Gonna Cut Your Grass?

grab yourself a hoe
leaf-blower hockey try-outs
gangraking your lawn

That's The Kind Of Combination An Idiot Would Have On His Luggage

1 2 3 4 5
do it again and add 2
7 - 2

iPhail

Early adopters
Queue for iPhones overnight
Kittens in a sack

See You All Later!

out come the shooters

tonight's memories end here

its been a pleasure...

Maxing Out The Failometer

Fixing corrections
Accuracy complicates
Best to just not ask

Maintaining Relationships One Data Packet At A Time

Update your Facebook.
Catch up with what's going on
and skip hanging out.

Page not found

TCP/IP
Better check your subnet mask
Error 404

'Bus' - Get It?

don't fuck with SCSI
I have spent half of my life
waiting for this bus

You Gonna Finish That?

Kids cholesterol?
Could have been that third Whopper.
Go the fuck outside

I Hope You Budgeted For ADR...

MiniDV mode

twelve decibels of headroom

clipped mics for Teh Win

How to Not Win

abort, retry, fail?
why is this disk so scratched up?
time to start from scratch

Lunchtime Lobotomy

watching food spin 'round

microwaves your frontal lobe

drool gives you away

Non-Tech Tech

To be a good tech,
you have to know where to punch.
Greatest tool of all.

Jocelyn Makes Sure I Fit In

always a critic
oh, and capitalize it
fit the format now

F-disk is Sick

can you fix this disk
your mbr is fucked up
it won't boot no more

Acedia

trapped in the office
skirts walking by my window
work grinds to a halt

E.B. White Was Right

be obscure clearly;
disappointed by chickens
and the frog still dies

That's Enough Outta You!

Timing is key for
inappropriate humour.
Puns can get you killed

Get The Fuck Off The Phone Already!

I would be that pot
that's calling your kettle black
now get back to work

Let's Find Out...

is there an echo
when you yell over the 'net?
LAY OFF THE CAPS LOCK!

This Is Why I Can't Have Nice Things

Here's an idea
Let's start a blog for haikus
Abandoned so soon?

Day's End In The Salt Mine

swaying on my perch
a state of asphyxia
no one to sing for

Later That Day In The Salt Mine

alone in the dark
I finally understand...
I'm the canary

Just Another Day In The Salt Mine

the gods have spoken
they want their canary back
I'm the chosen one

Raised In Barns

office rodent farm
fly-swatter requisitions
Close. The. Fucking. Door!

No, You Can't Borrow Those

wandering the halls
hunting the empty forest
stop stealing my tools!